We were in no huge rush to get up this morning. Exhaustion levels are at an all-time high and we really didn’t have much planned for Taipei. Our only priorities were to visit a bird fortune-teller, have a traditional tea, and find a tattoo parlor 😉 I opened the blinds of our darkened room as Brandon called me “pure evil” for letting the light in and forcing him to face the day. Sorry my love! Breakfast at the hotel was pretty unimpressive. But really, how often have you ever had an amazing hotel breakfast anywhere?
It was cold and rainy in Taipei and Brandon didn’t have a sweater so the first order of business was to find him one. As we checked out of the hotel, a fellow guest checking out next to us told the desk agent that she and her husband were headed home to Hawaii now. A fellow American! I tried to make nice and said hello; telling her we were also headed back to the US today and how beautiful Hawaii is; in fact, we’ll be there in February. She was cordial but obviously not very interested in engaging and basically brushed me off saying something about needing to get her husband. I realized her distraction when we tried to walk out the front door and her apparent husband had six women gushing over him and taking his picture. Who was this man that he had giddy fans waiting outside his hotel?!
We had located a nearby mall on the map but I wasn’t optimistic as the brief description I found indicated it as being very upscale, like the mall version of Taipei Rodeo Drive. . The skies were gray and rain drops intermittently hit us as we walked. Starbucks provided a quick reprieve from the cold with a delicious sesame green tea latte; we need those in the US! The Far East Mall was exactly what the description had said; very upscale and lacking character; I was bored out of my mind.
I did a quick google search and found that maybe where we needed to be was the Taipei City Mall and it was even in the direction of the Lungshan Temple where we wanted to go today. Again, we were so grateful for Uber. The Taipei City Mall was underground and more like a bazaar, filled with tiny store front selling kitschy clothing and knock-off upon knock-off. Between the shops of goods were more vending machines of random junk. We had a hard time finding men’s clothing and when we did, none would fit Brandon. This has been a recurring theme when trying to find any clothing for him on this trip. I was getting claustrophobic in this stuffy, underground, shopping scheme.
Coming back up to street level, we found a real mall the next block over. Score! It was nice to see stores that reminded me of home; Aveda, Zara, regular stores… Brandon found a great jacket and we tried to get me a pair of sparkly pumps. But alas that was not to be. The first shoe shop we tried didn’t have anything large enough for me to even get my toes stuffed into, let alone my entire foot. A couple stops later, we found another sparkly pair; and even better they had a sale sign, only TWD$1,000 ($33 USD). And they had a size that fit me! The sales woman spoke a little English which made it even easier. Brandon asked her to confirm the price and was quoted almost TWD$3,000. He pointed to the sale sign and she shook her head, taking the sign down and folding it in half by the register. WTF?! Despite how cute the shoes were, this woman seemed to be trying to screw us over. We had no problem telling her never mind and walking away.
The main reason I wanted to visit Lungshan Temple was not for the temple itself, but rather for the fortune teller row in the market underneath it. I had seen on YouTube that they had bird fortune tellers, basically fortune tellers who have birds that come out of a little cage to pick the cards that tell your fortune. I was all in from the moment I first saw the video and this was the only real activity that I would be sorely disappointed to miss. The Lungshan Temple was cool but really, temples just aren’t my thing. We did a quick walk through and snapped some pictures while people prayed but really, I was just anxious to get down into the the market.
And it sucked. We found the fortune teller row, the birds, and a sign that said, “English ok.” And I wish we hadn’t found any of it. I wasted TWD$1,000 ($33 USD) for a two-minute bullshit reading. I pay less than than for a half hour reading at home! For the reading you are supposed to tell the birds your name and address, and then ask them a question in your mind. I was caught off-guard when the fortune teller said I must now tell her the same info out loud and that I could only have one question and it must be very specific. This flustered me and I threw out a stupid question about my career, of which I am currently very happy. The birds did not want to cooperate, its like one especially was trying to tell me to just get up and go. The other bird played its role with precision, hopping out of the cage when she lifted the door and picking cards up from the box before it. The other took a lot more convincing and never really picked up a card at all. “They don’t work for free” the fortune teller said as she tried to bribe the bird out onto the cards with a piece of grain. The entire experience was quick, lame, and a complete waste of money. The most entertaining part was the form they asked me to complete before my reading with my name and birth date; as well as the info of other applicable relatives including spouse, lovers, and children. Yes, lovers, plural. Beneath the line for spouse they had not just one, but TWO lines to add the information of lovers.
I was so let-down that I just wanted to get out of there as soon as my reading was done. Get out of that god forsaken market altogether. The surrounding area also didn’t seem to be the greatest. It was the first time we’ve really felt uncomfortable this trip with drunks and others we didn’t want to be around lingering about. Time for tea. We grabbed another Uber to take us to the Wistaria Tea House for lunch and traditional tea. What my fortune teller should have said, “You are about to make an ass out of yourself.” We were greeted by a woman at the tea house who, apparently, asked what kind of table we wanted, round or square. With her heavy accent I couldn’t understand a word she was saying and asked, “English?” She repeated and I looked at Brandon, “I don’t understand” as he basically shook his head at me. She WAS speaking English, he had been able to understand her. I felt terrible. On top of it, they weren’t serving real food that time of day, just little sweets. We needed food. We told her we would be back and left to go find some. I was humiliated.
We weren’t near much but there was a noodle place across the street. That was about it within the block. It should do. And it was another mistake. From what we could make out with a couple pictures and the sweet lady ladling stuff to show us, she had either oysters or pig intestines for proteins. I was not excited about either but settled on oysters for my noodle soup and Brandon went with both. It was terrible. The woman was so excited to serve us, and so sweet, coming over and mixing it when she sat the bowls down and then standing there anxiously gesturing for us to try it so she could see our reaction. It was piping hot and the first sip burned my tongue and back of my throat, they both still hurt hours later. And it was gross. The broth was fishy and nasty. I could not eat this. Brandon’s wasn’t much better. I ate maybe two spoonfuls, he ate a few, before paying her and hurriedly leaving. She tried to get us to take it to go and we tried to explain we couldn’t. I felt bad since she had been so nice and excited but not bad enough to stomach it.
Back at the tea house we ordered a green tea and an oohlong from their overly extensive menu and sat as a young man painstakingly showed us the proper way to make and enjoy our tea. It was actually very interesting to see the proper etiquette and process but each of his movements was so excruciatingly slow it drove me nuts. The tea was delicious and I enjoyed the experience but It was getting late in the afternoon and we needed to get on with our day. We spent about 45 minutes enjoying the serene environment before calling it good and hitting the streets.
We wanted to find a tattoo shop. Yes, we had planned to get tattoos in Taiwan. Neither of us were exactly sure what we each wanted but we thought it would be a memorable experience. The power of google maps had helped us locate one just a five-minute walk away but when we arrived there was no tattoo shop to be found. We also still didn’t feel like we were in the best part of town and agreed that we’d rather find a shop in the cleaner part of town near our hotel. We didn’t know exactly where we needed to go so we hopped in an Uber back to the Eclat and figured we’d just start from there. The rain had picked up and was coming down in a steady drizzle. And we were still hungry.
It was around 5pm when we were dropped off at our hotel and started a wet search for food as the rain was growing steadier. But every restaurant we walked by was empty. We didn’t want to eat some place where none of the locals would go. We were both getting desperate for food and for a bathroom. Down a side street I saw English lettering, a hot pot restaurant. The menu in front had English on it as well. Perfect! We agreed that we were spinning our wheels and just needed to go for it. Walking in, it was also empty but oh well. Except that they weren’t actually open! The hostess behind the counter was kind enough to still let us use their restroom. Now it made sense, everything was empty because nothing opened until closer to 6.
We were desperate as we had not had any real meal yet today and a McDonalds was nearby. I can’t lie, it actually felt pretty damn good to kill a double-cheeseburger. And as you might expect, it tasted exactly like it did at home. It was also at McDonalds when I realized we were in an anti-straw country. With at least some food in our bellies we restarted our tattoo parlor search.
Showhand Tattoo Studio was nearby and had great reviews. And we could find it. One girl spoke some English but that was it. Their portfolios were impressive, these artists were good. Some of the most impressive portrait work I’ve seen. But their style didn’t align with anything I’d be after. And we felt like they were making fun of us. Walking out, we discussed that our tattoo idea had not been the smartest and instead refocused back on food.
I was hitting a wall. Taipei is bustling and busy and I’d been feeling more and more overwhelmed as the day wore on. And more and more exhausted. We ended up trekking back to the hot pot place, Ro Do Do Hot Pot, where we had used the restroom earlier and we could not have made a better decision. This was a legit hot pot restaurant where a soup is prepared in a pot on your table and you cook your own meat and vegetables. Ordering includes selecting one or two soups, your proteins, and sides. We ordered a surf n’ turf beef and seafood combo for two and could not believe how much food came out! The server cooked aromatics in our pot before Brandon poured in the broth to complete our cauldron. We feasted on two cuts of beef, shrimp, squid, mussels, oysters, fish, mushrooms, cabbage, noodles, and other assorted vegetables. It was so much fun, now we want to hot pot at home. A meal like that at home would probably cost $100 USD but here it was only TWD $1,320 ($44 USD). But as much as I was enjoying our final overseas meal of our adventure, that wall I was hitting was getting harder and harder. Exhaustion was taking over my body. Brandon felt the same way, we are spent and ready to go home.
Overall, I was not a fan of Taipei. The food was difficult and harder to trust, the streets were frenetic and anxiety inducing, and the people pushier and not as friendly. Yes, I know I am stereotyping but I am speaking of our experience. Our dinner timing worked out perfectly as it was just the right time to go back to our hotel and gather our bags to head to the airport. Even the lobby bathroom at the Eclat Hotel had a fancy toilet and I had to stop myself from getting distracted. This trip has definitely been an adventure. And it is definitely time to get back home.
Taking On the World 