Back to Bangkok

This morning was the first time I’ve felt any sort of chill since we left California. The sound of the rushing River Kwai was soothing as we slept and the serene water and jungle view greeted us when we opened our eyes. We brewed some tea in our room and sat on the deck to enjoy our first round of caffeine in the early morning air. I was actually cold. And it actually felt refreshing after the constant warmth of the last week. Not that I wanted the chill to last long. I welcomed the warmth as the sun started to break through the clouds.

We lazed around before hunger set in. The FloatHouse River Kwai provided a buffet breakfast including traditional Thai dishes and more western selections as well. I was excited to have pad Thai for breakfast but the spice was a little harsh for me. After breakfast we decided to walk down to the Lawa Cave while our food started to digest. We followed the planks and steps up the river bank and turned down the single lane dirt road that was supposed to lead us there. We were obviously along people’s homes as we passed gardens, chickens with broods of chicks following closely, and some cow/buffalo thing. His ears were so long!! A sign suggested a turnoff to a small village but we didn’t feel right invading the locals’ private space. We were disappointed to reach the end of the road and find ourselves at a national park entrance gate with a 300 baht per person entrance fee. That would have been a nice detail to know before we ventured out since we didn’t have any cash with us. Oh well, our massages were soon anyways and it wasn’t nearly as pretty out here as on our FloatHouse.

Relaxing on our deck would be a perfect way to spend our time until our Thai massages. A small boat drifted by with two locals fishing for who knows what. Brandon immediately regretted that we hadn’t looked into setting up a fishing guide. We knew that our massages would not be in the buff as the massage cabana was not enclosed but we were not expecting to be handed massages “robes” upon our arrival. The best way to describe the brown outfits they handed us and directed us to change into was like medical scrubs; wide leg pants and a boxy top. The serenity of our massage was dampened by loud construction noises up the hill. The Thai massages were, well, just ok. They mainly focused on pressure points but not very effectively and did not provide the stretching we expected. Neither of us were thrilled with their skills. At least they were cheap.

Our massages left me still feeling like I needed to move and stretch. Our little villa offered the perfect opportunity. The sun was shining warmly now and our deck, bobbing around with the current and as each boat passed, offered the perfect platform for yoga. Moving thru poses felt amazing. My body flexed and I could have stayed on that deck doing yoga all day. While I saluted the sun and nourished my soul with my practice, Brandon jumped off our deck for a float downstream.

Sadly, before we knew it, noon had come and it was time to pack up and leave our river oasis. I almost laughed at how cheap our expenses had been when we checked out, a total of 1,342 baht ($44 USD) for a bottle of Prosecco, two 60 minute massages, and six bottles of water.

There were no helpful luggage porters at the dock this time. We broke our vow never to separate in strange places abroad and I stayed with our bags while Brandon grabbed the car so we didn’t have to lug our ridiculous luggage uphill. Never ever again will we travel this heavy! He had walked me and our bags over to where some local woman, whom I think lived there to tend the dock, were toiling as it felt like a more protected spot. The woman asked where I was from and exclaimed “Ooooh! United States!” She went back to her chores, singing jingle bells in English with a thick accent and it felt so funny to be hearing Christmas music while standing there in the warm sun.

We had planned to stop at the Tiger Temple, just 25 minutes from the FloatHouse, on our way back to Bangkok but a quick search for information showed that the temple has actually been licensed as a zoo and is quite unethical. Just a couple years ago it had been raided and over 120 tiger cubs found dead, along with a dead bear and other animal parts. They have been sanctioned for participating in the illegal animal trade black market. Fuck that. I don’t care if it is supposedly ran by the monks, there is no way we could ever even imagine coming close to being ok with such a place. A disgrace. I will try to reel in my animal activist feelings now and move on…

There was a waterfall along the way that was also on our list but as we neared the stop it looked like a tourist shit show. Hard pass! We were both dreading the drive back so I pulled up the map and found an alternate route. It looked greener, but even if it was still a crazy city drive the entire time, at least it would be a different crazy city drive. As we turned off on this alternate route we could already tell we had made a good decision. I was getting hungry and wanted some Thai tea so we pulled off in a little strip mall area. We ordered rice and meat plates by pointing to the visible heaps of prepared food. Two meat and rice bowls and two waters were delicious and only set us back 100 baht ($3.30 USD). At another shop we ordered Thai and green milk teas also by pointing to pictures and having the amount owed shown to us on a calculator. Those set us back a whopping 43 baht/$1.42 USD (and mine had the boba add-in). It is really going to suck going back to the US and paying American prices for food again!!

Our drive back along this calmer route was way more jovial than yesterday. We drove through miles of sugar cane fields and I had memories of going with my dad as a very young child while he inspected sugar cane factories in Hawaii for work. I smiled as I recalled being handed a stick of sugar cane to chew on as I trailed along. Large semi trucks drove past us, painted in colorful ornate patterns and all of them with Michelin men attached to the front. What is it with all the Michelin men?!

As we entered a more populous area we encountered three party buses in a motorcade. These pickup trucks had open shells with benches and stripper polls for a bed. Bright and flashy with loud music blaring they could not be missed. In one, people danced on the polls, in another everyone was bored and toiling on their phones. We honked and waved at the middle one with its American flag decor.

As Bangkok grew closer, traffic grew worse. And worse. And worse. Slight bickering ensued as we disagreed over which map to follow. Yes, we were getting protective and prideful over our gps apps. That’s what happens when you’ve spent over ten hours in the car together over two days with about seven of it being in heavy traffic. We made it into bustling downtown Bangkok with tensions on the rise. The roads in Bangkok are ridiculously confusing. They often veer into frontage roads and suddenly split. Trying to navigate and not get us killed distracted Brandon even more from the directions and after spending about 20 minutes sitting in traffic on one stretch of road he ended up in a lane that forced a u-turn. We were only half a mile from our hotel and suddenly we were going the opposite direction again. When traffic broke on the opposite side thanks to a red light, Brandon was tempted to make a u-turn in the middle of the busy thoroughfare. No way, the last thing we need is to get ourselves caught up driving illegally. A cab in front of us was thinking the same thing and went for it, right then and there the taxi flipped a bitch in the middle of the road. And Brandon followed suit. As our car turned back to where we needed to go about three or four more cars behind us were doing the same thing. I’m pretty sure in the one-block stretch there were six cars making simultaneous u-turns.

That whole idea I mentioned yesterday, about driving and navigating each other through the streets of Thailand being a good relationship test? Yah. By the time we got to our hotel I wanted to strangle him. I’m sure the feeling was mutual. It doesn’t help that, for the most part, I hate large cities (New York excluded). They make me feel overwhelmed, claustrophobic, and frenetic. Thankfully once we were out of the car in our hotel our nerves both relaxed and the feeling quickly passed. It took us about five hours of drive time to get back, over 90 minutes longer than we’d expected.

The Grand Hyatt Erawan Bangkok is opulent and extravagant, having maybe the most beautiful lobby of any hotel I have stayed in. The service was seamless and it had an air of richness and luxury. I am sad there’s no time to enjoy their elegant tea service.

Hanger was setting in with a quickness. I needed food. The hotel is smack dab in the middle of a crazy bustling shopping and entertainment district (and by shopping, I mean mega malls) so we didn’t need to go far to find food. It was after 7pm on a Sunday night and the streets were packed. Just around the corner from our hotel we found a small row of half a dozen or so street food vendors. Score! We filled our bellies with chicken skewers, okra skewers, and seafood fried rice. It was all quite scrumptious. It was also all about three times the price that we had paid our first night in Bangkok in a more local part of town. We are definitely in the tourist district now, and definitely paying for it. One interesting thing about the street food in Bangkok, is they always trust you to pay at the end, If you are sitting anywhere nearby the stand they bring the food to you and then they don’t come back again until you are done with your meal to kindly collect payment. At the end of the row was a little jewelry stand. Two girls were trying to haggle with the vendor and she refused to play their game, literally telling them to leave if they wouldn’t pay. I found that interesting since haggling with street vendors is supposed to be a thing.

Brandon had a Bangkok rooftop bar at the top of his list for tonight so we ended up at the Speakeasy, a rooftop bar to the Muse Hotel. I love that we ended up in an American prohibition themed bar in Bangkok. The view of the beautiful downtown Bangkok skyline was quite stunning and my cocktail was even more so. I had a G&T, gin infused with butterfly pea (whatever that is), cucumber, lychee, apple, aloe vera juice, and tonic. The beautiful purple drink would be quite dangerous had we not chosen to limit ourselves to one.

It was past 9pm, on a Sunday night, but this shopping Mecca felt like a major mall the day before Christmas. It was definitely a hip place to be with all the major hotels, outdoor beer gardens, Christmas wonderlands, and shop upon shop. The streets were lined with street vendors and that’s where our interest lied, we could go to a regular store at home. Stopping at one food vendor to grab a watermelon juice we realized that the vendors surrounding it were the exact same as we had first encountered, Their food, signage, prices, all identical. It hit us then, we basically had just eaten mass-sourced fast food version of street food. It was still crazy delicious but didn’t feel quite as authentic anymore. It also provided clarity as to why the jewelry vendor wouldn’t haggle, they aren’t true vendors at all, they probably work under the thumb of some corporation.

We were both over the bustle of the crowded sidewalks but decided to walk a little further to some vendors we had passed on our drive in that seemed to be the real deal. And they sure were. Once we crossed the major street from the mega mall area, we started to find the deals. We thought we would just be a few minutes and then head back but probably an hour later we had scored loose lounge pants, a shawl, and shorts for me; tank tops and a shirt for Brandon; and a few Christmas gifts to take back home. Most of the women’s clothes were one-size fits all and the little Thai ladies insulted me over-and-over again as every time we’d look at an item they’d pick it up and show me how far it would stretch. These ladies were starting to give me a complex.

We wrapped up our shopping spree only due to the hour closing in on 11pm and the vendors wrapping up. Tomorrow we leave Bangkok and fly south to Krabi, back from the hustle and bustle of a city to beach towns. It’s crazy that we are already halfway through our nights in Thailand but I am excited to get out of the city and see some more beaches. I am already giving up on doing the Tiger Cave Temple as the last couple days of driving back and forth to the River Kwai have me ready to actually relax.